“Pre-date” before dating
“Dating” is defined as “Informal: To make or have a social engagement with a person.” (American Heritage Dictionary)
An expanded definition could be: “Spending time with a person of the opposite sex with the purpose of finding out if that person could become a long-time partner.”
When both parties are in the same geographical area, it’s best to have a first face-to-face meeting that is very inexpensive, e.g. meet for coffee. Sometimes people can know within minutes of meeting if they have romantic interest in the other person or not.
This first meeting (sometimes brief), could be called a “PRE-DATE” – to see if there is enough mutual interest to then have a real DATE.
Thus you should put out communication to various prospects, which leads to “pre-dates”, to find out if there is mutual interest. Then you would start dating that person if the interest is there.
Certainly at the point you get intimate with someone you should go into Hidden status with your profile, so that it does not come up in a Search.
By applying the “pre-date” guideline, one can avoid being “stuck” with the wrong person for hours.
IT’S THE COMMUNICATION – PERSON TO PERSON – THAT IS ESSENTIAL
We need to remind ourselves that communication is senior to everything else.
There was a magazine article in which a Chicago matchmaker was quoted as saying the following:
“Only a 10 can ask for a 10. It’s true that when one reads through the profiles, one gets the feeling that ‘everyone’ is looking for/demanding a 10. Yet, I can tell you that the percentage of my clients who might be classified as a 10 is about 1/2 of 1% (or less)! Most people are not 10’s. The world is full of married people and couples, very few of whom are 10’s. So how did these relationships come to be? THEY MET AND COMMUNICATED! And that’s all a dating service is there to do: Help people meet and get into communication! When communication is good and realities are shared, AFFINITY goes up.”